things that make me sad.

    hello! no, this post is not gonna be nearly as sad as the title would lead you to believe. there's a word for that, you know: 'misleading.' see, you learned something today. isn't that wonderful? i'm slightly more educational than a television. perhaps. but yes. television brings me to theatre which brings me to my first point. so, i got called back for one of my school's shows, and didn't get cast. again. i was not even good enough to be an understudy. it is a little disheartening because i really hoped i didn't suck that much. but either way, this angers me a little, which leads me to what i really wanted to talk about. *drum roll please* MY PET PEEVES!!!! because i always forget them. which is a little irritating in itself. so now, documented here for all to see, in no particular order, are....

SHAYNA'S LIST OF NOs. CONCUR OR I WILL EAT YOU.
1) grammar mistakes. there is no excuse. learn how to write better. if i see one more person confuse "their", "they're", and "there", i will cry.
2) the sound of people chewing. i know they can't help it, but damn it's annoying.
3) mean people. so unnecessary. be nice. or mute. whichever works.
4) songs with the r&b sparkle.just no.
5) this situation: as i am about to leave a room, i say, "i'm going to the bathroom; i'll be right back." inevitably, someone always says, "wow. thanks for telling me." now, i understand that someone might not want to know that i have to go to the bathroom, but really, wouldn't you be alarmed if i just left the room and gave absolutely no explanation whatsoever?
6) southern accents. i know i'm hating. sorry.
7) dr. phil and hillary clinton. they both make me irrationally angry. who knows why...
8) conversations i have to carry out on my own. i know i hang out with quiet people, but will someone please save me from having to talk to myself!
9) humidity. damn florida.
10) establishments that close at 9pm. because i am not a morning person and the world should be nicer to me.
11) casual racism. like bringing race into a conversation when it is completely irrelevant. it is wrong. we live in the 21st century. everyone is equal. just because people in the past were too dumb to realize it does not give you permission to continue to act in such a manner. especially without noticing it.
12) users. i really am a nice person. in fact, this is pretty much the only thing most people remember about me. that and the fact that i'm loud. so, please, please, don't use me to get answers for hw or help at getting my friend to like you. i know you don't like me for me, so just stop.
13) 'grande' coffees at starbucks. ok, i admit defeat, 'venti' means 20, and your large coffee is 20 oz. fine. maybe you named small 'tall' to give it a self-esteem boost; whatever. but, by no stretch of the imagination does 'grande' mean medium. 'grande' means large, ok?!?! you already have a large cup of coffee! THIS IS NOT RIGHT! YOU ARE LYING TO AMERICA! AND DISCOUNTING THE SPANISH LANGUAGE! BAD!
14) teachers who won't let me talk/ have an opinion. i like to talk, dammit! let me be.
15) money. i really wish we could use the bartering system. money causes so many problems.
16) when people smoke cigarettes. why are you paying corporate america to give you cancer? dumb.
17) ads featuring only christmas decorations that say "happy holidays!" we all know that you're really only saying merry christmas. your attempts at being politically correct have failed. throw in some diversity or give up the facade.
18) scary things. why do people enjoy being scared? i do not understand.
19) pretentiousness. i greatly dislike stuck-up people. sure, you may be better than everyone, but i do not condone obnoxiousness in such a context.
20) salt. all you do is make food taste icky and cause health problems. stop existing. k thanks bye.

    o. i guess that was my list of the top 20 things that irritate me. alrighty then. that works. lol. i love how i felt a need to spend an entire entry just complaining. there's the spoiled youth of america for you: using the internet as just another source to send out negative energy. o well. that's the closest i'll ever get to normal.....

****Quote: on the starbucks website, under the

    heading 'rumor response': "Rumor Repsonse:

    Misinformation on Israeli Armed Forces Support."

    the idf + starbucks? *dies giggling*

****Song: "First Date"/"I Miss You"/ "All the Small

    Things" by blink182. (listening to a bowling for

    soup song on the bus with my friend put me in quite a

    mood for some good old pop-punk. :] )

school and minor insanities

    shalom! so, yesterday was the first day of school. mhm. i felt such an occasion deserved documentation, right? lol. so, yes. i am now officially a junior. i guess in the whole scheme of things it's not really a big deal, but currently it feels a little odd. really now, this means i've been in school for 11 going on 12 years. how crazy is that? so long and i'm almost done. i don't really feel old enough for that. i'm too much of a little kid. XD. of course, school was definitely interesting. it was cool to see all the people i've gone without all summer. lots of screaming and jumping on people, because that's how i am. and after all the drama of the first day of school, they decided to cancel school today because of a hurricane that is passing by. hurricane fay? or maybe it's still a tropical storm. either way the day off probably wasn't strictly necessary, but it was a nice surprise. impromptu breaks are always fun. :].

    so i spent my day sleeping til 2 and then going around random places with my parents. we went to this wonderful pier 1 type store that had many amusing international tchotchkes. my kind of place. hehe. and then at home i finally got around to watching this silent movie my friend ordered for me from korea or taiwan or somewhere. it's called metropolis and it is german and absolutely amazing. it's this sci-fi movie about a city run by these huge man-powered machines. everyone is incredibly over dramatic and wearing an extreme amount of eyeliner; they all grab their chests when they feel any emotion. and there are robots attempting to be sexy and men with great names like josaphat and really sweet scenery. it makes me happy. there's a random musical based on it that absolutely failed, but i really want the music because it sounds kinda wonderful. but it's expensive and i'm poor. story of my life....XD.

****Quote: "OMG, where is agador spartacus?!?!"-me (for

     the past 2 days there has been a slug on my porch

     that my friends and i named agador spartacus. but

     today i realized that he is no longer there. *sniffle*

     hopefully he has slugged himself elsewhere.)

****Song: "The Nicest Kids in Town" from Hairspray

it's all downhill from here?

       i iz very bored. when i am bored i talk. :]. well, no. when i feel anything i talk. when i feel nothing i talk. but that is besides the point. tehehe.

       so yes. hey there. it is august. it has been august for quite a bit but i'm a little slow on the uptake. it's cool; i work it. but more importantly, this august business means that school is quickly approaching. like severely quickly. like next week. this is breaking my heart because i have been greatly enjoying the break from all the drama and effort and such nonsense that comes along with the public educational system. and i have to be a junior. i know, not really a big deal, but it is a little terrifying at the moment. i'm so done with high school stuff, really, but the thought of leaving and dealing with the real world is not fun. i mean, i know i have two years left, but it feels like the past two years went by so fast....i dunno. i feel like i should appreciate it more while i have it or something cliched like that. and it feels like everything's gonna be different this year. i was thinking in a bad way, but someone who can't frown should be more optimistic, so it will obv be in a good way. :D.

       anyway...what else? *looks for cue line on floor* ah! my showcase went pretty well actually. i dunno if my piece improved as much as i was looking for, but it really was not bad. and i got to do tech, too. it was quite amazing, because i love being a performer more than the world, but i do like helping run a show, too. if only i could do that for every show...i can see it now, "SHAYNA: ACTRESS/ STAGE HAND AND/ OR POSSIBLY ASM." tres catchy. lol.

       and yes. finally started reading eats, shoots & leaves. i know, fail. i've had so much academic work type stuff to do i haven't been able to get to it. but my over-achieving has paid off! finally! huzzah! so i am reading mi libro (which is as epic as expected) and making my way through the stack of magazines that have been piling up next to my bed since march. superficial-osity is quite joyful!

       o, and i found the best thing ever, actually. like really, nothing could get any better. look:

       it is the bucket of fun! you can't make this stuff up, i swear. it is filled with epically useless odds and ends, such as various colored whales and safety pins and sequins and wooden shapes and letters. it really should be called the tub of fun because that is what it is, but you can't argue with a patent. i purchased it for my friend's artistic endeavours in exchange for her taking a picture with a wax andy warhol for me. (i love andy warhol, btw. did i mention this? idk. he has been my favorite artist since the fifth grade. we go way back.) *random lyric break* "look, i find some of what you teach suspect/ because i'm used to relying on intellect/ but i try to open up to what i don't know/ because reason says i should have died three years ago." sorry, i love that line. anyway....yes. fun. this friend and i have decided we are gonna put the same sort of stuff in a bucket and call it the tub of fun because being smart asses makes us smile. you would buy it, wouldn't you?

****Quote: "The next day after the abolishment of the

       apostrophe, imagine the scene. Triumphant

       abolitionist sits down to write, "Goodbye to the

       Apostrophe: we're not missing you a bit!" and finds

       that he can't." -Eats, Shoots & Leaves

****Song: "Undercover, Funny" by Atom & His Package

just thought you should know....

        so, i lack entertaining stuff to say to you. therefore, i am really just gonna quickly comment on some theatre/ movie/ musical stuff and then go back to reading new moon (lame, i know.). :D.

        urm, so i saw mamma mia. the movie. which was not actually that great, semi-depressingly. i'm thinking i'm not really an abba person, prolly. which is cool. the song mamma mia shall forever make me smile anyway. o, and i apologize to my poor straight male friend that i dragged with me. XD.

        y...i'm in theatre camp, which i may or may not have previously mentioned. so yes. no commentary really, just a statement. and i'm doing a jesus monologue which i'm hoping is gonna turn out really well. i've always wanted to do it, and i finally got the chance, which is pretty grand. tho i totally had no idea how to do the crossing yourself thing. and everyone giggled. *fails* lol. but yes. and we're dancing and singing and i feel a little old for the camp, but whatever. a chance to be in a showcase is always nice.

        oooooo! and now i thought i should tell you that.... *drum roll* dark knight was ridiculously amazing!!!!! really now. i don't generally like superhero movies (except for spiderman. JAMES FRANCOOOOOOO!!!), but this one was so good. prolly mostly because of heath ledger, which is why i went to see it in the first place, but still. i wasn't expecting how perfect he would be. so ridiculously committed. even down to the mannerisms. i can only wish to put out a performance half that good. le sigh. and then he dies. not cool. stupid damn method acting. here, let us have some pictures to remember the beauty:

        so yes. there you go, in case you weren't already aware.

        and, i FINALLY got the 1998 cabaret revival soundtrack. which i have been in desperate need of because the emcee is played by alan cumming. who is good at everything, but especially at being the emcee. so damn amazing. i mean really, look at that:

mhm. that's what i thought. :D.
alright, i will now stop obsessing over random, attractive, talented, and 50% dead men. well, actually, 33% as i vaguelly mentioned james franco in passing. but yes. i'm gonna go move on with my life now, as should you. so, so long and all that jazz...



****Quote: "Children? YAY! LUNCH!" -Me + improv

        games = ...

****Song: "Mein Herr" from the 1998 revival of Cabaret

long time no ramble.

     boo! hehe. i win.

     well, i feel like i've sort of been neglecting this poor little blog of mine. not that anyone reads it except me and lyla (<3). but still. i feel an obligation to this cute little inanimate object of mine. so yes. let me focus. i just got distracted by some game to which my friend sent me the link. escapa? i dunno. a little addictive. 19.867. pretty great, methinks. lol. so life. hrmmm....*muses* well, i haven't really done anything different. went water parkin' with my dear beloved senior, malling with my bestest friends from middle school, monopolying with the kid i've hung with since elementary school. :D. good times.

     o. started theatre camp yesterday. theatre is kinda a party. i'm super thrilled for the showcase at the end because it has been forever since i actually performed in a show. i mean, that's beacuse i'm kinda not a good performer, but i enjoy it. a lot.

     ugh. i am such a little emo kid lately. it is a terrible habit. i mean, nothing's really wrong specifically, but i'm just kinda generally angry at my life and some of the people i try to share it with. i dunno. i just feel like i'm really untalented at theatre and no matter how hard i try it's not enough. that by itself is distressing because i go to school for theatre. and then i feel like people don't really like me very much at school. i have friends, but in no way am i really a part of the theatre department. which is upsetting. and i dunno. i'm probably overreacting, but it seems like a lot of my friends, if i wanna talk to them at all, i have to be the one to contact them. no one really tries to talk to me first. i feel like they really don't particularly want to speak to me but they feel like they have to. or something. it just hurts a little to feel that the people i love the most don't care. and it's prolly not entirely true, but it's stil bothersome. and i also am kinda lamenting this i'm-no-one's-favorite thing. you know what i mean? like, people all have their best friends, the first person they come to with anything, a person they talk to everyday no matter what. that sort of thing. and i feel like even tho i'm good friends with a lot of people, i'm no one's best friend. or something like that. which sounds really elementary schoolish, but dammit, it's bothering me. and you know i'm really 8 on the inside anyway. well, YOU might not know, but i do, and that's all that really matters right? ;)

     k. that is really all i had to say. a little useless superficial ranting is good for the soul methinks. so i shall take leave now.....

******Quote: "I'm not jealous, I'm Russian."-this

          adorable child at my camp. :]

******Song: "Empty Apartment" by Yellowcard (i

          actually didn't have a song stuck in my head

          today *gaspdie* and this just came on and somehow

          seemed appropriate.)

a wonderful day in the neighborhood. well, not my neighborhood....XD.

     heya! so.....currently i am on vacation, doing nothing, like i always do on vacation. something might have gotten done, maybe, but i couldn't fall asleep until 7am this morning, so i slept in til 3, which kinda destroyed my day. BUT, then we went to this marvelous restaurant that had this bass with a crazy diamond print all over it and i ate quiche. which was fun. but that is not the point. the point is, at this restaurant, my dad ordered an omelette. a three egg omelette. and when the food came, he was like, "this is a three egg omlette??!?! wow. that's really small. must have been a tiny chicken. o, wait...i ordered egg beaters instead of real eggs. maybe that's why..." and i was all, "ha! a faux egg omelette!" and he was all, "no shayna. three eggs. not four." and i was like, "what are you talking about..." and he said, "you said fo' eggs. trying to be all ghetto..." and i was like, "NO! FAUX!" and he was all, "SHAYNA, three eggs!!!!! NOT FOUR!"

     it was kinda amazing.i mean, i'm sure it's not funny to you, but it was quite hilarious at the time. and for an hour afterwards. :]

     and the second wonderful thing about today was this book i bought. so, as i have told you, i am a grammar nazi of the worst kind. and today my parents and i stopped in this bookstore that we saw on the side of the road. there i found this book that will shortly become my favorite, i'm sure. once i read it. hehehe. it is called eats, shoots & leaves. it is all grammar-y and panda-y and has punctuation stickers. i think i am in love...here. i will copy what is on the back:

"A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots into the air.
'Why?' asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
'I'm a panda,' he says, at the door. 'Look it up.'
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.'"

     is that not epic? i cannot wait. :D

     but, anyway, i am currently watching my cousin vinny. which is a movie everyone should watch. most def. so here...quote and song and then i'm out....

****Quote: Mona Lisa Vito: "Imagine you're a deer.

     You're prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a

     little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the

      cool, clear water - BAM! A fuckin' bullet rips off

     part of your head. Your brains are lying on the

     ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask ya, would

     you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch

     who shot you was wearing?"-My Cousin Vinny
****Song: "La Vie Boheme" from the rock musical Rent :]

emo scraps

it's early in the morning and someone dared to interrupt me sleeping. i don't like the morning. and people actually do stuff now. i'm vaguely terrified. but anyway, point is, nothing to do led me to writing a sad little beginning to a story that will never have an end and a pretty necessary emo poem. and tho they are not good, i felt like they needed a place somewhere. so here, enjoy my demented early morning musings. and then maybe i will sleep....

       He looked at me. Well no, not at me, past me maybe. A sort of vague, careless look off to the left. That I was now analyzing for deep meaning. Great.

       Yep. That’s what my life has come down to. Sitting in class, spending prime day dreaming time pretending to get closer to mending a friendship so broken that a straight-on look would have probably held a disgusted glare for having the misfortune to have caught sight of me.

You
Happy
All
But me?
Left behind
Or not.
But it feels that way
And beyond feelings?
A useless reality.
Rather, I live in intangible adjectives…
Liked
But not loved.
Tolerated
But not sought out.
Useful
But not desired.
“Someone’s gotta love me best.”
A joke
But how true.
The damned truth lying somewhere within my joy.
Giggles giving way to an epiphany
Maybe best left unthought.
I’m here and it might matter.
But then again,
It might not.

o, and btw, the computer lies. it is really 5:48am. just for the record.

*****Quote: Bryan: "I was left alone with my thoughts all

            night. Do you know how scary that is?"

                                                                    -The Bill Engvall Show

*****Song: "We Are Family" by the Goldman Girls

attention seeking at random hours...(for lyla)

         well hello there. :]. this is me blogging for the first time ever. i am not quite sure how this is gonna work out, as i was one of those children who couldn't keep a diary for more than a week, no matter how pretty the cover. but ah well. there's something vaguelly entertaining about putting your life out on the internet, knowing that though it's likely no one will read it, the possiblity is there. so, let me see....o. you might want to know who i am, right? well, specifics are for friends, families, and rapists, so here, vague details:

        this is the epitome of me.

         my name is shayna. i live in florida, but i have been a wannabe new yorker since my favorite toy was a chewable foot. i am of the age at which someone can drive a car. not that i do, but it is legally permissable. i go to school for theatre, because i am obnoxious. i hang around with quiet people and anime nerds as a rule. according to my mother, this is because i have enough personality for all of us put together, but that makes my friends sound like gelatinous gray cubes of nothingness. *random wayne's world break* "'Zantar is a gelatinous cube that eats warriors in a village. If you eat a chieftain, you go up a level. Beauty is, you can't get to the next level...' 'Gelatinous cube eats village. It's terrific. Now, I know nothing about video games, but I found that riveting.'" ANYWAY! my friends are not cubes. they are beautiful children who put up with my obnoxious self at all hours of the night. and who don't eat villages. and some of them are loud like me. really. they are. or at least, i try to force them into such behavior....XD. anyway. yes. more. ummmm....i am sort of a human jukebox. jutebox? i dunno. the cool music player things. one of those. people talk, i sing a lyric their words remind me of. not that i can sing, but it's a fun pasttime anyway. i am a ridiculous sort of overachiever. i am a grammar nazi. not to be confused with a regular one of which i am definitely not, for i am quite uber jewish and do not approve of discrimination of any kind of any people at any time. that said, human rights make me very happy, and i get into loud debates on such matters with my father all the time. i like movies. a lot. many many many movies. as you may have noticed, wayne's world is EPIC. it was sorta my childhood. which is a little twisted, but it works. and there are more....let me list. not all, but we shall start: the birdcage, across the universe, cabaret (*dies*), breakfast at tiffany's ( best character ever), ferris bueller, duck soup (funny jews make the world happier), hotel rwanda, the departed, goodfellas, inside man (denzel washington is amazing), dodgeball, my cousin vinny, big fat liar, national treasure, alice in wonderland, chicago, spiderman 3 (JAMES FRANCO!! how could they do that?!??!?), pride and prejudice, little shop of horrors, east of eden (james dean <33333)....and so forth. which is not a movie title. just me giving up trying to think of more. o, and i love reading, too. but i just got out of this totally fail read-only-bad-teen-novels phase, so my list of favorite books is a little lacking. actually, i'm just kinda terrible at favorite things in general. i don't do favorites. *refer to 8 hour long movie list* so...moving on...o. i talk a lot. in case you didn't notice with this ridiculously long rambling paragraph. speaking of...NEXT!

        k, if you got all the way here and you are still reading, you deserve some jazz hands. *JAZZ HANDS* thank you for caring. or being too bored to do anything else. i know if i were you, my attention span prolly would not have allowed me to keep reading this nonsense. so, on that note, i will leave you with a quote and a song.

****Quote: Armand: "Al, you old son of a bitch! How ya

                        doin'? How do you feel about that call

                        today? I mean the Dolphins! Fourth-and-three

                        play on their 30 yard line with only 34 seconds

                        to go!"

                        Albert: "How do you think I feel? Betrayed,

                        bewildered..."

                                                                    -The Birdcage

****Song: "I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross (not i'm

                        coming up....which is what i spent my

                        whole life thinking it was....i've been living

                        a lie.)

        and now, this is the end. for real. aren't you happy? (i didn't say banana. XD.)

        o, explanation of my blog title. funfeh is yiddush for an error in speech. mangoes is there because of my epic failure at word association. *short story* my friend and i were doing word association stuff, and then she was all, "ok. no more word associations..." me: "okay." her: "i have the hiccups." me: "MANGOES!" and the art of ball zen is the cult for which i serve as goddess. see, the story goes, where my friends and i sit at lunch there was this semi-dangerous game of throw the ball at each other that was always going on, and all my friends kept getting hit by the ball. but, i never did. my theory was that they were all afraid of the ball while i instead accepted the ball's existence. hence, ball zen. if you don't fear the ball, it will feel no need to hurt you. as you can see, it is quite a cult. we have bracelets. and traditions involving the ditch outside of publix. which is a grocery store that apparently doesn't exist in the north. which is a travesty. in case you were wondering.....

                                                                                          <3333333333