emo scraps

it's early in the morning and someone dared to interrupt me sleeping. i don't like the morning. and people actually do stuff now. i'm vaguely terrified. but anyway, point is, nothing to do led me to writing a sad little beginning to a story that will never have an end and a pretty necessary emo poem. and tho they are not good, i felt like they needed a place somewhere. so here, enjoy my demented early morning musings. and then maybe i will sleep....

       He looked at me. Well no, not at me, past me maybe. A sort of vague, careless look off to the left. That I was now analyzing for deep meaning. Great.

       Yep. That’s what my life has come down to. Sitting in class, spending prime day dreaming time pretending to get closer to mending a friendship so broken that a straight-on look would have probably held a disgusted glare for having the misfortune to have caught sight of me.

You
Happy
All
But me?
Left behind
Or not.
But it feels that way
And beyond feelings?
A useless reality.
Rather, I live in intangible adjectives…
Liked
But not loved.
Tolerated
But not sought out.
Useful
But not desired.
“Someone’s gotta love me best.”
A joke
But how true.
The damned truth lying somewhere within my joy.
Giggles giving way to an epiphany
Maybe best left unthought.
I’m here and it might matter.
But then again,
It might not.

o, and btw, the computer lies. it is really 5:48am. just for the record.

*****Quote: Bryan: "I was left alone with my thoughts all

            night. Do you know how scary that is?"

                                                                    -The Bill Engvall Show

*****Song: "We Are Family" by the Goldman Girls